Road trip...

Happy Monday everyone! A few weeks back, I met my younger (I don't use little because he is not little and has never been) brother in Auburn, AL. We went to Auburn to explore the town and of course, Auburn University. My brother, who has already had a life full of experiences in his short 25 years, has been accepted to Auburn to continue with his Marine Biology degree. 

We had such a fun time running around town and exploring what BB's (Baby Boy is my nickname for him, it is something that my Mom still calls him) life will be like beginning Fall 2010. We both loved the town, the people and of course the campus. Everyone was so nice and just excited to be at Auburn. 

This is BB in front of one of the Science buildings. He will spend most of his time in the four Science buildings, which look really new and fancy. This will be a wonderful place for him to continue to learn about marine life and indulge in his favorite past time, scuba diving. 

I'm really excited for my brother and a little jealous that he is going to Auburn. I've already gone through all of the school that I want to go through, but I have to admit that while we were in Auburn, part of me wanted to go back. Going to the campus bookstore, the student center, and seeing the football stadium made me long for the seemingly carefree college life, and definitely made me want to go back to school. When I texted my husband and told him I wanted to go to Auburn, his reply was "I thought that might happen." All I could do was smile and know that my days at school are over for now. But, I can't wait to go back to Auburn to visit BB and watch some SEC football. 

Weekly Reflection...

This time last year, I had a job that kept me in a small room with three other people all day and usually part of the night. I was working 10-12 hour days everyday, and many time I would work the same schedule from home on the weekend. Not only did the work schedule stink, but I was basically the complaint department in my office. If someone didn't like something we did, they spoke with me. They would call me to yell at me and call me nasty names, or e-mail me and of course call me really nasty names, or sometimes they would send letters and yell at me and, again, call me nasty names.  


To put  it mildly, I was a sad girl who was losing faith in the human race.  Not only was my fellow man disappointing me, but I was willingly sacrificing everything wonderful in my life to prove to myself and everyone around me, that I could do it all. I wanted to prove that I was worth having this job and I was able to do the job of three people (before I got there, three people did my job). 


In many ways, I am a strong-willed person who doesn't really care what others think of me. However, this feeling goes away when it comes to proving myself needlessly. In many instances, mainly academic and work related situations, I feel like I have to prove that I am smart enough and good enough (I know, it sounds like a Stuart Smalley lead in) to be doing what I'm doing. But, as one of my colleagues told me before I left my job, this ends up undermining my ability to do my job and my lack of confidence and need to prove myself doesn't allow for growth and just ends up taking up my time.  


I tell you all of this because I have learned that sometimes what your are looking for isn't where you are looking for it or when you are looking for it. I have learned that sacrificing everything you love for a job that was killing your spirit, isn't ok.  But most of all, I have learned that the only approval I need is my own. 


On another note, I left my job last May and have been looking for another job off and on since then. My criteria for a job has changed and as my brother pointed out last weekend, I've become more picky. 

Weekly reflection...

Here we are at the end of another week. I hope it was a good one for you. Around here we are getting back to a sense of normalcy and continuing to put life back together. There are days where the past few months seem like a far away dream that never could've happened, and then there are days where you continually ask yourself if you did everything you could have. But, what I'm coming to realize is something I heard on a rerun of Scrubs last weekend (sometimes they have good philosophical moments). Anyway, what I'm learning is sometimes the bad guy is a disease that you were never going to beat. No matter how hard we fought for her or how hard she fought, my mother-in-law wasn't going to beat lung cancer. It was too far along and we weren't strong enough to beat it, but we all did the best we could.

Amazingly enough, life goes on and the days and weeks continue to speed by. As we close another busy week, I hope during these cold days of winter you are able to find some sunshine to enjoy and you are warm and cozy this weekend. I will be heading to Auburn, AL to spend time with my younger brother as we explore Auburn University. I'm super excited about it and will make sure to take lots of picture. Happy Friday everyone!

Appliance Lovin'...

Let me tell you about my favorite appliance at the moment. Actually, it's been my favorite since the day we bought it a year and a half ago. It's our Keurig, the coffee, tea, hot cocoa maker, or whatever other drink you want maker. Well, almost any other drink, I say almost because it doesn't do lattes, cappuccinos or things that involves milk, but it does make quick, good tasting coffee and tea.

The best part are the little K-cups. This is how you make coffee, tea or hot cocoa. You just open the top of the Keurig and put the K-cup in and hit the brew button, about 30 seconds later you have your hot drink and are ready to walk out the door. You don't have to mess with a filter or coffee grounds, the K-cup is self-contained, so the clean up is so easy. There are also tons of K-Cups out there and many coffee shops are coming out with their own. You can buy them where you buy the Keurig or there are many websites where K-cups are sold. I also love it because you can set it to turn on at a specific time and turn off after a designated time period.

The Keurig also lets you make the drink in a variety of sizes from small tea cups to large travel mugs, depending on what Keurig you have. The Keurigs come in a variety of sizes too. There is a new Mini, which is perfect for a single cup at a time, all the way to the Platinum which also makes cold beverages like lemonade or tea. I use my Keurig several times a day, especially in the winter and love, love, love it.

Doggie Tales...

Yesterday morning I was running around the house unpacking things and putting stuff away, when I turned around and saw Franklin dreaming about his farm dog days. From October until last week, Franklin had been able to go outside whenever he wanted and run on a nine acre farm with two other farm dogs and a farm cat.  He was in heaven as he bounded up the hills with his ears flapping in the wind and his nose in the air smelling all of the new and different smells. The snow didn't hurt his enthusiasm for country living either.

When I saw him staring out the window yesterday, I know he was wanting someone to let him out so he could freely run, smell and pee on everything he could find. I know adjusting to city life again will take some time for him, so in the mean time my goal is to take him to the dog park more often and to take him on more walks. I think this is the least I can do since he has been such a trooper over the hardest months of our lives.

During our most trying times, he was a protector, a comforter, a snuggler, an entertainer, and just a really great dog. So here is to more walks and more trips to the dog park in 2010. I hope everyone has a great New Year and has someone, even if it's a dog, who is all of these things to you.  Happy New Year!

Putting life back together

Two days ago, I walked into my home for the first time in almost 11 weeks. As I drove through my neighborhood I was amazed how surreal everything looked. I had thought about this moment for weeks and wondered how I would feel as I walked back into my life. Physically speaking very little had changed in our neighborhood. But, as I sat in my car in the garage I teared up. I was thankful to be home but also nervous about what the future holds.

As I sat there, I thought about how much my husband and I have both grown and matured. Really, I think even our dog has matured. He went from a city dog to a farm dog. Although I know he loved being a farm dog, he reverted back to his city dog roots and come inside when it got cold or rainy or was anything less than abundantly sunny.

Going back to human growth in unfortunate circumstances...my husband and I don't have kids, and besides our super-fantastic dog, we haven't really had anything to take care so when it became apparent that we were going to be the main care takers for my husband's mom as she struggled with and eventually succumbed to lung cancer it forced us both to grow up. It forced us to really put other people first and be more patient and understanding people. For me, this experience has made me a more empathetic and compassionate person and with the new year coming up my goal is to continue these traits.

I would also like to remember everyday to be thankful. Not everyday will be perfect and in fact, some will be downright hard but there is always something to be thankful for.

Thankful for...

Happiness is the only good. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so. 

-Robert Green Ingersoll

It's been a while since I've posted and a lot has changed in my life. My family and I have lost an important member of our family, a main pillar really. And while we are still searching for meaning in all of this and trying to develop a new sense of normal, it's also still  important for all of us to remember what we are thankful for. Today, I am thankful for family. 

My husband and I have a great family who has pulled together to help us care for his Mom while she was battling Stage 4 metastatic lung cancer. With the help of hospice we were able to care for her at home and make her as comfortable as possible, but that didn't make the situation easier.  Since my mother-in-law passed away our family has remained strong and supportive of one another. 

As we prepare to travel home after the holidays, the memories I hope take with me from the past few months is how our families have supported us and when we were weak they were strong and vice versa. I also hope that we always remember that although this has been a difficult time, we are blessed to have one another.